Adventures in Teething

Phew! 10:30 and I have been working for two solid hours to get Elijah to fall asleep. We are officially one week into cutting his first tooth, and it's going average. Apparently he is not terribly fussy during the day while I am at work, and he usually gives me a good two hours at home before he explodes; but right about the time I am putting him down for bed, Kablamo! It's like I'm pulling that tooth out of his mouth with pliers. Poor little man. We are using everything we know - cold teethers, frozen washcloths, nighttime Orajel, baby Tylenol. I hate that he is hurting so bad. As I was rocking him and trying to soothe him by humming "Jesus Loves Me", I was taken aback and comforted myself with the line "they are weak, but he is strong". All too often I forget to lean on God when I am too weak tackle something on my own. Teething is definitely one of those times. I am too weak to hear him scream so hard and need God's help to get both he and I through this physically and emotionally painful time.

Mary did you know?

The other day as I sat in my partially decorated, warm living room on my comfortable sofa, nursing my precious son and a cup of decaf coffee, I couldn't help but reflect on Mary. You see I never truly had the perspective of just how amazing she was until I became a mom. Here was a young girl - we're talking teenager here - who was not yet married, carrying a child she never chose to create. To top it off, this child is the Son of God and forgiver of our sins...talk about intimidating! I mean I question whether or not I am going to be able to raise my son in a manner in which he will love God and be a good and faithful servant. How did this girl do it? There are so many resources out there for me to read if I am not sure if I am doing what's best for him and plenty of opportunities to become overwhelmed. I forget that all I need is a quiet place to pray and my bible. As far as I know, Mary did not have these luxuries (well, maybe the opportunity to pray). What great faith she must have had. Let's put aside the difficulty she endured giving birth in a manger.That's just the beginning of her story as the mother of Jesus Christ. how terrified was she of doing the wrong thing? Did she have trouble controlling her temper? How exhausted was she in those first weeks when he needed her to give all of herself to feeding him? Here is a woman of strength like no other. Of course, God chose her specifically because she had this strength - but I wonder, did she know she had it when He chose her? Did she questions God's choice? I am confident she did (she's only human, right?). I truly wonder what being the mother of Christ would be like...

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It's amazing how fast this last 15 weeks went. The last time I posted our baby was the size of a banana. Now he is a large melon! So much has been happening these last few months and I can't wait to inform you about it all! But first I must organize my pictures. More to come in the next couple of days (I hope!). :)

Bananas

Twenty weeks down and twenty to go. We have reached the halfway point of this pregnancy and I cannot believe we are already there! The first eight weeks or so seemed to move so slowly, but now it seems like time is flying by! I know it will only move more quickly when Norton gets here, but I already find myself desperately holding on to the beautiful changes that are occurring. I love feeling him/her move (now that it is occurring more frequently) and cannot seem to keep my hands off of my belly. :)  Chandler and I think it is funny that the baby is always compared to food - mostly fruits or vegetables - and try to eat the comparable food throughout the week. This week - bananas! Some weeks are easier than others. My favorites so far...mango and avocado. We can't wait to meet this banana and are super excited to find out (in two short days) what Norton is going to be! Thank you Lord for this amazing blessing!

Pink

Today I am especially thankful for the many blessings God brings to our lives. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year. After two lumpectomies and a round of radiation, she has finally finished this (hopefully never to return) fight. There will be follow-up appointments, check-ups to make sure it has not returned, and I'm sure countless unwanted "what if" questions in the coming years - but she has made it through the hardest part...I think. My mom was lucky. They caught the cancer very early, which makes me very grateful for new technology and she did not spend a terribly long period of time in radiation. I was amazed at her positive spirit throughout her battle. Her fight may have wavered a bit in the toughest weeks of radiation when her skin was purple from the burn; but she persevered and I could not be more proud of her! She is one tough lady and I am so thankful for the love and support she has received from her friends, family, and co-workers. I know the constant encouragement they provided helped her keep up the fight when things got tough! :)

Norton

Note: Chandler and I are in no way considering Norton as the name of our future child. We do not like calling the baby "it" or "baby" or even "baby Norris". I'm sure we would have been fine with the latter nickname had a good friend not suggested the alternative that just seemed to perfect to avoid!

November 23, 2011...I eagerly awaited Chandler's arrival at the Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. I spent the morning fretting over the perfect outfit to wear and checking to make sure the house was ready for his homecoming.

Chandler's flight was due to arrive at 10:15 in the morning, which worked well for me as I don't believe I slept a wink the night before and I don't believe I could have sanely occupied my time throughout the day had his plane arrived later in the evening. My excitement gradually turned to nervousness as I approached Atlanta. My friend Amy and her man David agreed to meet me at the airport to capture the moment of our reunion on film. We arrived early to scope out the area where I would meet him and once we determined the location, we sat and ate breakfast and I drank the most unnecessary cup of coffee of my life! At this point my nerves were shot and I was so grateful for these two great friends who kept me company during this final, brutal period of waiting. Around 10:00 we made our way to the receiving area. Here, passengers have been funneled through the airport and deposited to their final gateway to freedom...the escalators. Directly in front of the escalators is a booth in which a group of USO members are poised to greet weary soldiers as they make their toward their final destination. It is extremely touching to watch these grateful citizens extend a hand of welcome, love, and support to complete strangers and I confess I was instantly choked up. The combination of nerves and emotions building up within me caused a stillness in my being and I became very quiet. I think Amy was taken aback by my countenance and went into excitement overdrive to make up for my placidity! When the moment finally came and I saw him come off of the escalator I was stunned and forgot what to do! Amy spurred me to go to him and, remembering what my legs were for, I quickly made my way to him -waddled my way is more like it as I had foolishly worn heels for the occasion! I jumped into his arms and the world around me was no more. Yeah, yeah, I know what you are thinking. Gag me with the cheesiness! But, it was what it was and I was complete again. Little did I know that the moment I jumped into his arms photos were being taken. Sure, I was aware that Amy was there capturing the magic; but I was caught completely off guard when a reporter from Reuters approached us for information to use for a caption in a picture she snapped of the two of us. After relaying the information, we gathered Chandler's things and made our way home.
A couple of days later, as we were visiting Chandler's family for Thanksgiving, I decided to Google my name to see if the picture had somehow surfaced on the internet. After a few unsuccessful attempts, I tried Chandler's name. What came up was a montage of pictures in The Telegraph documenting how the U.S. celebrated Thanksgiving. Low and behold, there were SSG Norris and a very happy blonde girl named "Brittany" hugging in the Atlanta airport after a one year separation. As the picture spread, I went from "Brittany" to "Brittany Norton" and then just plain "Norton". We thought this was pretty hilarious and Chandler soon began to affectionately refer to me as "Norton". When we found out we were pregnant and were trying to think of nicknames we could use for the baby so we weren't calling it "it", my friend Natalie suggested we call the baby "Norton" until we knew what we were having and had a name picked out. Well that idea was an instant hit! That is how we came to call the baby "Norton". Again, we will not be naming the baby "Norton" or "Nortena" if it happens to be a girl - but right now, the name fits!

Why not Facebook?

I know it may seem a little weird that I would only send baby updates through the blog and not Facebook. I mean Facebook is quick, easy and everyone sees it so I don't have to constantly give the same news over and over again. So why not Facebook?
Most of you know of the difficulty and pain Chandler and I have gone through in the process of having children. While our situation was not nearly as difficult as others - and was largely due to a combination between Chandler's occupation and my obsession with getting pregnant - I became a basket case. Ok, maybe I have always been a basket case and this just fed right into my craziness! The point is, when we lost our first child, it was devastating. I may not have been pregnant long, but I loved that child from the moment we knew God had blessed us with it. The emotional heartache I experienced and the painful months (alright year or so) that followed were very difficult to get through; but we got through them and are all the stronger in our faith because of them! But again, why not Facebook? Plenty of people have been praying for us and would love to be reassured that everything is still fine! The plain simple fact is many couples struggle with infertility and the loss of children during pregnancy or after meeting and holding the child they carried. I know how difficult it can be to constantly be surrounded by sonogram pictures, belly bumps, baby clothes, and other reminders of new life when you feel so empty inside. I never felt anger or resentment to the families that experienced this joy, and even tried to share the joy with them. I was genuinely very happy for all of my friends whose families were expanding; however I also selfishly felt great sadness for what we did not have. I eventually learned how to let go of my feelings and give them over to God. I am now able to see how God used this experience to help me grow in Him and how He gave me the opportunity to use the experience to help others who may be struggling through similar circumstances. While I know exposure to pregnancy and new life cannot be completely avoided, I do not want to force people to hear about our joy unless they have chosen to share it with us. Facebook does not provide much freedom of choice. What appears on your News Feed is not in your control unless you have blocked someone. I understand that it is the responsibility of the person who is having a difficult time to guard their own hearts; but I also understand that I have a choice to share our excitement with close, personal friends who choose to access this blog to read up on how we are doing. I don't have to force every moment on people who frankly don't care! :)
So, with that said I welcome you to join in the next 20 weeks of this pregnancy! As a further introduction to our growing family, I will attempt to explain the origin of the nickname Norton! But I will save that for another post later today! 

So obviously as the time got closer for Chandler to come home, I spent less time updating the blog! Oops! Well I'm back at it. Here's the scoop on what has been going on since November!

- Chandler returned from Iraq and in a whirlwind of a few weeks we attempted to figure out how to live with each other again! :) That was much more difficult than I anticipated (despite the sage wisdom that was passed along from veteran wives in the know). I think we have finally settled back in to the normal life and are moving on to the next great adventure of our lives! Which brings me to..

 - The future addition to our family! I found out I was pregnant in January and desperately tried to keep this a secret for all of about 4 days. Alas, I've never been known for my enduring patience! We can't wait to meet Baby Norton (no that will not be the name of our child - will try to explain this at a later date) in September and are loving every miserable and magical moment pregnancy has to offer! More focus on this journey to come!

I thank God for the many blessings he has provided us - in his time, not mine!

Day 22-24

I confess I am struggling to look on the bright side of things right now. The time for Chandler to come home is getting closer and I am strangely more fraught with frustration and sadness than I have been since he left. However, I know that joy is not always found in happiness. Sometimes struggles are required to understand and feel true joy. I know God is using this time to help me grow into the woman I am supposed to be, but I currently find myself questioning my work and abilities as a wife and potential mother. If I am perfectly honest with myself, I know that the perfectionist in me who wants to prove my worth at work has taken on too many responsibilities and I am feeling more and more incapable of adequately performing my duties. On top of this, I find I am so consumed with myself that I am not nurturing the relationships that make my job so special (the students I currently teach and have previously taught as well as the co-workers who have become my family and friends). I know I can love and encourage my students. I know I would be a much better teacher if I were craftier and more diligent in creating a more rich environment for my students. I know I would be better at these things with the proper support, but the truth is it just does not exist in our current educational environment. There are many amazing men and women who do a phenomenal job of providing these things for their students with love, patience, grace and humility all while keeping up with student work, paperwork, and familial duties at home as well. These men and women continue to amaze me, but I constantly find myself falling short. I ask myself annually if this is truly where I am supposed to be, or if I am stubbornly sticking to it because I want to prove myself worthy of standing with these amazing people. There are days when I feel things are going great, but this month it has become too difficult and I feel like I am letting people down left and right. I look forward to learning how God is using this time to strengthen me. Until then, I am grateful for the wisdom I have gained in previous times of frustration and distress, and I pray I do not end up burning bridges here in the final stretch of this deployment!

17-21

Apparently I am really bad about getting on my computer every night. I probably should have been less specific with my time frame. Alas! I find myself overwhelmed with love, joy and thankfulness tonight. I can't believe how truly blessed I have been to have known and been affected by hundreds of wonderful people. Recently I have been overwhelmed by the number of people who have been my family and support during this deployment. I would not have been able to stand so strong through some of the most difficult periods of this separation if it weren't for the men and women who have constantly shown their love and support for both me and Chandler. I wish I had the appropriate vocabulary to share my appreciation, but the only words I know are Thank You. So to EVERYONE who has been there for me, listened to me whine, complain, cry, talked me through some serious meltdowns, and made me laugh - from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU!

Day 15-16

I did not have to search far these past couple of days to find Joy in my life. Not only was I reminded that there are people in my life who are a joy to love, but that there are many of them. I am so very thankful to have been blessed with a loving mother who sacrificed many things to provide for my sister an me, great friends who have loved me through many "testy" moments, a husband who is my best friend and who puts up with me at my craziest moments, and a plethora of good role models who have taught me many wisdoms about what it is to experience and accept God's unconditional love. All of these people have loved me and helped shape the woman I am striving to become - one who is full of love, grace (in life, not movement - I've kind of given up on that one), patience, empathy and compassion. It's so much easier to understand and accept God's unconditional love for me when I remember how much I have actually experienced it from others. What could be more amazing and comforting than that?

Day 15-16

As weird as this is to say, I am am so thankful to have cried in the doctor's office on Tuesday and also for standing my ground afterward. I woke up Tuesday morning feeling the exhaustion that has become part of my daily experience. It has been some time since I have felt like myself, and though many of the recent conscious changes I have made have been positive and necessary, my body has decided to make some other not so necessary and definitely unapproved changes. Basically I have been feeling like an 80 year old dementia patient. So, I called my doctor (something I rarely do) and made an appointment. As I described the symptoms I was having, she added them to the ever growing list. Now I HATE feeling like a hypochondriac, so it took a LONG time for me to go to the doctor for a lot of these issues. Consequently I had a list of issues that would make a hypochondriac look normal to report. Knowing what she was probably thinking, I kind of lost my cool. All the frustration of not functioning properly at home and work because of the barrage of problems I have been experiencing kind of came out all at once. Thankfully she took me very seriously, but naturally her immediate response was that I was depressed and needed an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication. Don't get me wrong...I know depression and have lived with it for many years; but I am not depressed. I will be the first to admit it when I am (and will still be stubborn about medication) - but this has been a very different experience and I wanted to know what to do to make it go away, not just keep some of the symptoms at bay.  So after insisting that we keep looking for other possible causes for my symptoms she began doing some typical doctor-y things. She listened to my chest, took my blood pressure and then palpated my throat before doing some blood-work. As she palpated my throat, she lingered and began muttering some "hmms" and "huhs".  She then informed me that my thyroid was enlarged and she felt a goiter. At this point I thought to myself "What the heck is a goiter, and who in their right mind would come up with such a horrible name?" It's very difficult for me to bring myself to say that word out lound, but there it is. A goiter. So, I Googled "goiter" and found out lots of fascinating things about them, ,including the fact that they are often caused by hypothyroidism. As I looked further into the symptoms of hypothyroidism I was relieved to find that other people have had all of these crazy symptoms I have been having and then some. I love it when I am not the only weirdo out there. :) I also wondered if this could be the culprit in my case. I guess I will have to wait for ultrasound results from today and the information she gathered from my blood-work on Tuesday. Not to sound like I am hoping for a problem, but the fact is I'm having many of them and I would LOVE an answer to why I have been feeling this way. If it turns out everything is fine with my thyroid, that's great news! I guess I will start the search over until we either find the problem, or I give in to the anti-depressant/anxiety meds. Either way I hope I can begin to feel like myself again!

Day 13-14

Yay for Halloween trick-or-treaters! I had so much fun giving out candy to the neighbors' children (Minny Mouse, prisoner, two ninjas, and a beautiful butterfly). I loved getting a visit from my favorite monkey who was practicing before she went out to the strangers.





 

I can't wait until next Halloween when I get to share Halloween trick-or-treating with Chandler and prove him wrong. He insists that I didn't get the "good" kind of candy and the only way to win at Halloween is to hand out Snickers. Now he's afraid we won't have any trick-or-treaters because I handed out Wonka candy instead of chocolate. I guess we'll find out next year! :)