What a Difference a Day Makes

I don't know why I have this ritual of freaking out every time we are away from school for a few days. I worry and fret over all of the work that didn't get done, the stress of feeling like I don't know what I am going to be doing the next week, and the fear that my students are going to be bored or misbehaved (or God forbid I won't be able to show them the proper amount of love because I am feeling so down). And then the time comes when I must face the day that I fear so much...but wait! That work gets done, the lessons of the day go smoothly, and most importantly there is more love to give to these angels than I can stand. Where did the love come from? It came from their warm smiles, great ideas, genuine enthusiasm, and hilarious personalities. Suddenly I remember my purpose for getting up each day. I remember the "big picture" and I am praising God for this amazing blessing (among many others I am suddenly able to see more clearly) in my life. I remember that even with the hurt and pain I feel from our two losses, I can get through each day because I have gained the love, affection, and hard work of 20+ beautiful children...Suddenly I have so much to be thankful for. Thank you Lord for this beautiful gift you have given me.

Back to School

School's out for winter in Georgia! The combination of Christmas, the worst ice storm I've experienced in this state, and Martin Luther King holiday has meant that I have not had to get up to my alarm more than 4 times since December 14. While I am truly grateful for the time off, I am beginning to experience cabin fever in the extreme! All of this time cooped up in the house has made it difficult for me to avoid the frustration and sadness I am feeling over this deployment. It will be great to get back to school and into a routine that will keep me mind occupied on something else.Right now I find myself avoiding responsibility and struggling to maintain a positive attitude. I am a mixture of sadness, frustration, anger and confusion. If anyone out there is experienced in deployment, this first timer would be grateful for any tips in how to get through it!
In the mean time, I was doing my devotional last night and there was a reference to these verses and they were just what I needed to read:

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in Him.
Psalm 40: 1-3