The deployment has officially begun. I have been looking through other people's profiles and blogs and have noticed a trend of eternal optimism. I wonder if I will ever be able to find this same optimism, but am also curious how much of it is real and how much of it is women telling themselves what they want to be feeling (whether they are feeling it or not). It's not that I'm pessimistic about the outcomes of safety during this time. In fact, I am surprisingly not overly-worried about that aspect right now. What I am pessimistic about is how easy it will be just to "stay busy" and "it will all be over with before I know it". I'm sure it will go by quickly, but staying busy doesn't take my mind off of things like everyone says it will and that leaves me feeling weak and abnormal. If all of these women truly are able to be strong and get by telling themselves "I'm in the swing of things now, and staying busy will help things go by faster" than why am I so weak? And if there is weakness behind these mantras, why can't anyone admit that's what they are? At least then I might not feel so alone and wrong.
I admit I need to take on a great deal of that blame for not reaching out and asking questions about this to other military wives. It's just very difficult to bring it up when everyone seems to be trying to keep their minds off of their feelings. Hmmm... Guess I just need to get over it, "keep busy", and "get into the swing of the new routines". Anybody who has some tips on how to do these things, I would greatly appreciate it.
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